A beautiful fairy appeared one day to an immigrant claimant outside the Social Security Offices.
‘My good man,’ the fairy said,’I’ve been told to grant you three wishes, since you’ve just arrived in England with your wife and seven children.’
The man told the fairy:
‘Well, in Pakistan where I come from we don’t have good teeth, so I want new teeth, maybe a lot of gold in them.’
The fairy looked at the man’s almost toothless grin and — PING!
He had a brand new shining set of gold teeth in his mouth!
‘What else?’ asked the fairy, ‘two, more wishes,to go’..
The refugee claimant now got bolder.
‘I need a big house with a three car garage in Birmingham with eight bedrooms for my family and the rest of my refugee relatives who still live in my country. I want to bring them all over here.’
PING ! – In the distance there could be seen a beautiful mansion with a three car garage, a long driveway, a walkout patio with a BBQ, and a sparkling swimming pool and a BMW, full of his nephews playing their music.
‘One, more wish, left for you’, said the fairy, waving her wand.
I want to be English with English clothes instead of rags, and shawl and I want to have white skin like the English.’
PING ! – The man was transformed, wearing worn out jeans from ASDA, a dirty Primark T-shirt and a greasy baseball cap.
He had his bad teeth back and the mansion had disappeared from the horizon.
‘What happened to my new teeth?’ he wailed. ‘Where is my new house? Where’s my Visa Gold Card?’
The fairy said
‘Tough luck. Now that you are English,
you’re entitled to
sweet fuck all like the rest of us.
And she disappeared!